It slices, it dices . . . it makes julienne fries
Back on the subject of inner childhood, the web site HowStuffWorks has added the brilliant (and damn funny) article How Lightsabers Work, complete with these safety instructions:
"A lightsaber is not a toy! Keep it out of reach of children at all times. Lightsaber locks are required in most states. There are two ends to any lightsaber -- one end has the belt ring, while the other end houses the blade arc tip and blade emitter. NEVER point the blade emitter of a lightsaber toward your own body. NEVER look down the "barrel" of a lightsaber, even if you are "sure" it is in safe mode. If you accidentally activate the lightsaber, serious injury could result."
According to the site, benefits of owning a Jedi weapon include the ability to both cut and toast bagels in one stroke, trim hedges, light cigarettes, fend off would-be assailants and reheat coffee. And – here’s where it really gets nerdy – a diagram shows the inside of the lightsaber’s construction, with information on how the diatium power cells provide the juice while the primary and focus crystals convert that energy into a cutting blade of light.
Of course, there’s also a link to help you select the right model to defend yourself against the Sith. Prices range from $6.99 to $369.99.
Sadly, they’re only replicas.